Hurting People

I wanted to share this concept I heard a while back when I first started searching for personal development content. John Maxwell has some principles that he teaches about the kind of people we will deal with. The principle that jumped out at me and caught my attention was about people who are mean and hurt others. He said "hurting people hurt people". It was more like an epiphany when he said that. I recalled several moments of people who have said things that were hurtful, or could have been hurtful. I don't know if it is how I have grown up or if being a man has anything to do with it, but I normally take comments like that with a grain of salt. I don't let things stick to me very easily. Those times that I thought of when people would more or less attack me, I reflected a little deeper and it just struck me. All of those comments were out of their own broken self image. It is a defense mechanism to make ourselves feel more significant in those areas where we are lacking or failing.People don't always realize this when they are doing it. I even thought of times where I wasn't very nice to someone and I could see myself doing it because I felt insignificant in some area. Or maybe it was a way to become the alpha of the group.
This has given me a whole new perspective on bullies or people who are always climbing on top of others to get what they want. Every time I hear someone being derogatory or slamming someone else, I actually feel sorry for them and pray that God would strengthen them. Somewhere inside they are hurting and are coping with the pain by bringing others down to their level.
When I see things this way, it is very hard to be mad at them. It's like watching someone trip and fall beside you and they try to grab you on the way down. It is a natural reaction. But if we took the time to realize what is happening, it would be easier to just take the fall by yourself and ask for assistance from that person to get back up.

So next time you feel hurt by a comment or you are in a situation where someone is belittling you, just remember that there is probably something that is hurting that person. They need your help rather than your anger or disappointment.

Self Sufficient

I was raised in a way that could be detrimental to my success in running a business and at the same time be the only thing that keeps me going. I was raised to be very independent and self sufficient. This is probably why I learn things so fast and become good at anything I put some effort into. But being self sufficient isn't always a good thing. Let me explain.
One of my cars was coming back from being rented for 3 weeks. Before that trip, I decided to do a full tune up. While I was working under the car, I noticed the back tire was rubbing kind of funny. After investigating, I found that the ball joint was bad. Seeing that this would cost around $1200-1400 at a shop, I decided to take the challenge on myself. I had about 4 hours to accomplish this before the next rental. I had such a hard time with this, that I even had to call the renter and tell them I was going to be late. During the procedure, I strained my back worse than I ever have. I'm not even sure what I did, but it hurts real bad. I only got one side done and didn't even get to adjust the camber angle properly. So it is probably still eating away the tire.
I am supposed to be running a 15 mile Spartan race this coming weekend but do not think I will be able too. At this point I am very upset with how everything happened. It may have been better to take it to the shop and spend the money. I still can't decide whether it was really worth it to do the job myself. It is nice to have the skills to work on things myself, but sometimes it gets me into trouble.

Maybe you can be the judge of this. I am frustrated with the situation right now but am willing to move past this. I am still learning and sometimes I have to learn the hard way.

Life changes

So the company that I work my 40hrs a week for had an "All Employee" monthly meeting yesterday. They announced the layoff that I knew was inevitable and it has got me thinking. I really have devoted a lot of my life to this company. And now I am faced with a possibility of loosing that income all of a sudden. I did not plan on loosing that income just yet, because I am not set up to pay the monthly bills with other sources of income.
Jim Rohn talks about the conditions of our economy and the events that effect our income. He says the same wind blows on us all. And he is right. We are all living in the same market and all have access to the same tools and opportunities. I view this layoff as an opportunity to kick me in the butt and get me going making a true living.
My wife sent me a scripture this morning and I would like to share it. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds., because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind."James 1:2-6
These are those moments of truth that will prove to you what you are truly made of. Are you planted on solid ground? Are you tossed back and forth by the changing of the seasons? Do you have those moments that you feel like you can't go on? What do you do with those moments?
You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Paul talks about being filled with the same spirit and power that raised Christ from the dead. You may fail at certain things or events, but they only make you stronger if you are willing to accept that you were wrong.

Make your days count and move toward your goal.

My Daughter

I have shared this in the past and this is one thing that we have chosen to focus on here in the past year. I have a daughter that has special needs. We cannot figure out what it is that we are dealing with so far and have soaked up a lot of time and money into the research. It is very frustrating to have a child that means the world to you struggle to understand the world around her and communicate with others. I can tell she understands that she is different than other kids and feels embarrassed by it. I want so bad to take away those feelings and protect her from them, but I know if I do that she will never grow to be the leader I have asked God to make her. This may be the toughest task I have taken on so far in my life.
My wife and I have felt overwhelmed the past few months with things we are involved in and trying to accomplish. We are growing a lot from it but there are times when we have those feelings of just giving in and living a mediocre life. Most people choose this lifestyle by default. I will not become one of those people, I have been called to be great. I will not choose to set small limits on my life and I will accomplish great things. This is the same calling my daughter has as well, and I will not let this dysfunction rob her of her greatness.
If anyone wants to help me in this fight, please check out the fundraiser we have started to help in our journey to find the underlying issue our daughter is struggling with.

https://www.gofundme.com/n46zk9as

We thank you for all your support and I hope I can supply you with great content in the future to help you in your future endeavors. 

Focus

I listen to a lot of personal development audio. One of the ideas I kept hearing was about how to keep your sights on you end goal. They always say that the end goal will help drive your every step towards that goal.  So I wanted to give a little write up today about an analogy that has helped me learn this principle.
As I was leading the stretching portion of our Saturday morning men's fitness group, I noticed a lot of people struggling to keep their balance especially during the standing quad stretch. This is a stretch where you stand on one leg, reach back with both hands and grab your other foot behind you. You have to pull up as far as you can to get a good stretch on your quadriceps. But this is very difficult for some people, so I instructed them to take the opposite arm and use it to point to an object at least 15ft in front of them and keep their focus on that object. Everyone was amazed at their balance and how easy it was by using that technique.
I think this principle is especially true even in our everyday efforts moving towards our goal. Think about it for a moment, if you keep focusing on the events around your current action you can get distracted very easily. I was working on my business papers one night and a thought popped into my mind about how I could resolve an issue on the Porsche Cayenne I am working on. So I thought I would take a second to do a little research. I ended up not getting my paperwork done and not even getting the research I needed to complete. If I was to keep my focus on the paperwork, I would have gotten everything done I needed to that night.

So take a few moments and ask yourself if you are getting distracted, or if you are completing all your steps to get to your goal. I would say that the majority of our issues with not getting some things done is little distractions.

Opposition

"Before success comes in any man’s life, he is sure to meet with much temporary defeat, and, perhaps, some failure. When defeat overtakes a man, the easiest and most logical thing to do is to quit. That is exactly what the majority of men do."

I have met a lot of people that give in too easily. At the first sign of opposition, they give up and wonder why they even tried. They believe it was a waisted effort. But in fact it was just a moment in time that they realized that there was a better way of doing it or that the way they tried to do it was wrong.
Those who are weak will only see the part that is not a reflection of success. Their biggest failure is not being able to see the opportunity to get closer to success the next time. The nation gets closer and closer to a full on communist society, hoping that the government will take care of them so they don't have to try anymore. But there is hope. I do see people, and am meeting more, who stand strong even when times are tough.
I would like to encourage you to be persistent and change your view of unsuccessful moments. Its not that you have to fight harder but that you have to fight smarter.

Consistency

So for the past few days have been a little overwhelming in terms of activity. As part of my small business (renting cars on RelayRides) I brows craigslist for European SUVs and I have been watching the market and doing some research on Porshe Cayennes. I found one I thought was a scam and turned out that it was a real deal. I bought it knowing that it needed engine work and that I would not be able to add it to my fleet for renting. I spent most of my day working on it after class on Saturday and some on Sunday. I did not get the result I wanted and ended up deciding that I have to tear apart the whole engine. I do not have time to do this but I am scrambling to make that time in little cracks here and there.
The whole time, I noticed a theme. I talked a little bit about it at our men's fitness class and I recently heard it on a podcast. I spoke on consistency. There is something about being consistent that nobody likes. I believe I know what it is. So here it goes.
I believe there is a fear aspect that is being overlooked or ignored by a lot of people. They fear that they will have to be tied to something and they will loose their freedom to do whatever they want. To loose that spontaneity. But we all know in our sub-conscience that the results we want are obtained by doing things over and over. We become better at things when we continuously invest time into them. That's where the phrase "Practice makes perfect" comes from.
I will give you an example. I haven't really noticed this till a few days ago and it has become more apparent to me lately. I am consistent in working out every morning even if it ends up only being 10 minutes. Most of the time it is 20-30 minutes. I noticed the other day that I am getting abs like those you would see on TV or some workout video. This didn't happen in a day, or a week, or even a few months. It was a result of a consistent workout routine that I practice every morning.
If you look at the things that are selling fast in our society and fade out slowly, they are things that offer quick fixes. I am warning you now, don't look for the quick fix. It fades away fast. Just like sin, if you try to gratify that hole in your life with vises, you will only find yourself wanting more and more to try to fill that space. I promise you will never be satisfied if you are running after material things or even shallow relationships. Look at our medical industry, it is a monstrosity of a business and it is run like it too. Everyone follows their doctors and take pills and get surgeries and you would think that we would become a healthy nation with the best doctors in the world. It is run on the fact that it can give you a quick fix. But it is only offering a band-aid to cover the problem until another one pops up and then they can make more money on you.
I could ramble a long time about that, but I will not in this post. I wanted to point out that if you have a goal in mind, it will not be achieved unless you are consistent in the path you designed to get there. Remember you can't walk the entire length of the US in just a few steps, it takes a consistent walk towards that goal.
Get out there and take your steps even if they are small.